Sadie spent her time between Stella’s house, Kerry’s home, and the farm.

Neil seemed a little down. He said he was fine when asked. He would soon be graduating and Sadie wondered if he was nervous about the future or disappointed that his mother wouldn’t be there.

Neil’s behavior had improved from when he was younger. However, he could still be impulsive and get into mischief.

While back on the farm, Joanna asked about Neil. She stated that she wished she could see him. That he was a good friend. Somehow, she convinced Sadie to take her to visit Neil on her return. Sadie had a hard time denying Neil anything. She felt guilty about Stella abandoning him.

Neil was happy to see her. Kerry was not so sure this was a good idea. He gave Neil strict orders to stay in his room at night. As they had on the farm, they would sneak out of their room’s when everyone was sleeping to be together. Kerry wouldn’t know thought Neil. Neil felt he was old enough to make his own decisions.

Joanna did not see Neil again until early summer. She was anxious to see him. They had not been careful when she had visited and now she had some big news to share with him. Joanna was worried about his reaction, but even more worried about her mother’s. They did not have a close relationship.

Joanna tried to hide her pregnancy from her mother, but it seemed her mother was always watching for her to mess up. Her mother asked if she was pregnant. She had at first tried to deny it, but her mother knew.

“You can’t stay here. You’re stepfather will never allow it. You were supposed to be a positive role model for your younger siblings. You are a disgrace. I hope the father will take you in,” Her mother smirked.

Joanna wondered if perhaps Neil would marry her. Is that what she even wanted?

Neil was no happier about the news than her mother. He had plans to go into the military. They agreed to put the baby up for adoption.

Joanna had planned to adopt out the baby, but when she saw him she changed her mind. She thought about how she could dress him up and show him off. He would love her forever. She named him Chase. She thought her mother would surely change her mind when she saw how cute Chase was. She was wrong. Her mother was furious.

“You aren’t coming back home,” Her mother shouted at her.

Neil was surprised to learn that Joanna had changed her mind about the adoption. Neil again told Joanna about his plans to join the military.

“We aren’t ready to be parents. This wasn’t the plan,” Neil cried.

“Look how cute he is. He will love me forever,” Joanna said squeezing the baby against her.

Joanna liked the attention she got at first after having the baby. Her friends came to see her new son. Alex and Gabriel doted on her and the baby. Then it became tiring. He woke up several times in the night, he always needed changing, her friends stopped visiting, she was stuck on this farm.

One night she ignored his cries, hoping he would fall back asleep. Alex entered the room and picked up the crying baby, cooing softly to him. The following night the same thing happened. He must enjoy getting up with the baby Joanna told herself and so she quit tending to him in the middle of the night.

She did find it a little odd. In her experience infants were left to the mothers to care for. Her father had left when she was a baby and she couldn’t imagine her stepfather changing a diaper. Neil was gone. She wasn’t complaining. She was able to get more sleep. She began leaving the house more and more and leaving Chase behind.

Sadie and Neal came to visit when the baby was 3 months old. Sadie was getting older and it was much harder to travel between the households as she had done for several years. She beamed at the tiny infant. She tried to get Stella to visit. Stella who had not seen Neil in years. Neil had never met his siblings, never asked about his mother anymore.

“I can’t be a father now. I can’t get out of my obligations,” Neil said. He didn’t want to be like his mother, but he just couldn’t do this, not now.

“But you are,” said Sadie. She placed the baby in Neil’s arms. Sadie wondered what she had done wrong. How could they deny their own children?

Stella had begun to dread the sound of the phone. She had felt bad about Neil, but she did what she had to do. Sadie had stopped bringing up Neil constantly after her second son, Jason turned 2. She would still talk about him, but much less so as she realized Stella was not going to tell her husband about her first child.

Then Neil got some girl pregnant and now Sadie was again trying to get Stella to see Neil and her new grandchild. She doubted Neil wanted to see her. He probably hated her and did not want to see her. Anyway, it was way too late to say anything to her husband now. Neil was fine. He had Kerry to look after him. He was grown now and she had her other kids to care for. It was too late to change things now.

Sadie talked about her frustrations with her daughter to Emma. She blamed herself. She must have done something wrong. Emma reassured her that she had been a good mother. Talking to Emma always made her feel better. Emma had always been like a sister, a best friend. They shared many laughs and tears, also.

Sadie was grateful that she had been able to make that trip. Not long after Emma became ill and passed away. She had been grateful to live long enough to see Gabriel find love. She had seen the joy on his face as he helped care for the baby. The farm was in good hands and she had had a lovely last visit with Sadie. Now she would be reunited with her parents. It had been a good life.

Gabriel was devastated to lose his mother. They were very close and he could not imagine life without her. He wasn’t sure if he would have made it through if Alex hadn’t been there. He provided comfort and support. Chase helped, too. Everyday he seemed to learn something new.

Gabriel began to focus on the flower garden and started making and selling flower arrangements.

Neil didn’t feel that he could be a parent. He didn’t know how. His own parents hadn’t wanted him. He thought maybe the baby would be better off without him. Still, he didn’t completely forget about him. If someone asked if he had children, he told them yes. He visited during Winterfest and on birthdays. He sent gifts occasionally and money. He felt bad about not being around more, but he felt that he was doing the best that he could. Besides, he saw that Chase was being well cared for by Alex and Gabriel.

Joanna quickly grew tired of parenting. As Alex and Gabriel started doing more and more, Joanna spent less time with Chase. She started dating and going to parties. After drinking at a party, Joanna’s boyfriend was driving her home when he struck another car. Joanna was killed. Chase was two years old.

Neil was able to attend the funeral. Kerry put his excavation on hold to go with him. They talked about what to do with Chase. Either Neil would drop out of the military or Kerry would have to decline leaving on his next excavation.

Neil was doing well in the military. He had just been promoted to a lacking corporal. He was becoming more responsible and mature. He had direction and it seemed a positive role for him.

Kerry had passed on excavations to raise the children and he was loving being back in the field. He and Genesis were looking forward to traveling again as they had before the children.

Chase was happy to see Neil and Kerry, but when he was hurt or tired he ran to Alex or Gabriel. He was excited about taking a plane ride with them, but kept asking if Papa Alex and Gabriel would come, too.

Neil and Kerry sat down with Alex and Gabriel to talk about Chase’s future.

“This is sudden. You don’t have to take Chase right now if you aren’t ready,” Alex said.

“I don’t want to do to my son what was done with me,” said Neil looking down,”but I’m not ready for this. I don’t want him to feel unwanted as I did.”

“He’s not unwanted,” Alex said,”not at all. We love having him here. We would be happy to continue caring for him or at least being involved in his life.”

Neil and Kerry talked through the night. Neil didn’t want to be the type of parent his were, but was it the right thing to take him away from the only home he knew when he was not prepared to be a father.

After a lot of thinking, Neil decided to let Alex adopt Chase. He would still be involved in Chase’s life, just on a smaller scale. He would never forget his son as his mom had forgotten about him.